WEEK 3

Week 3 in the books. There are some movers and shakers in the league. Still have 2 undefeated squads and we still same amount looking for their first dub.  Let’s get it on.

 

  1. Monstars

Big trade this week sent the number one overall pick to your arch nemesis. Honestly, I would have shopped him to the team formerly known as Nacua Matata and tried for your old namesake Njigba’s in Paradise or whatever it was. Well trade or not, you still lost but I do think you made your team better, you just need to learn to start the right guys. You may need to join the double tight club with the two time Champions. Like you said Sadiq should never be benched again but at the same time, Likely shouldn’t either. Kekambas and I are two time champs for a reason. Good news though, next week you play DMMC and for the first time this season you are projected to win. Maybe this is where it all turns around or maybe you shouldn’t have left your family and ran away to Korea and the world is just trying to get back at you through fantasy football for breaking your mother’s heart every day.

  1. The Tune Squad

Tune Squad is still looking for their first RBFFL victory and after Team Spirit took home the W this week in their matchup, the loveable Looney Tunes are the only franchise without a RBFFL win. But let’s get serious, your first win wasn’t going to come against defending league champ The Visitors, and back to back league champ Bijan Robinson. BUT! That was a valiant effort young man. You outperformed your projection and would have beat 3 teams this week had scheduling granted you those bums. Your red letters are slowly coming off your players but the most importantly, the red letter on your trade acquisition is gone. A real game from Puka may be all you need to get that first win at the cost of some Dixon Yamada.

  1. Kekambas

Kekambas played the highest scoring team of the week so they planed it pretty well to be the lowest scoring team of the week. Don’t do what I did week 1 and play the highest scoring team and be the 3rd highest scoring team (by half a point mind you), that’s just a fuckin’ waste. If you’re going to lose, go big. It’s a great strategy, this is how you become a 2 time champ. You were on the receiving end of a trade that, I won’t mention any names, but someone, cried about. I didn’t like that trade for you honestly. There’s no consistency in the Bills passing game and the only player I’ve ever wanted from that team is named Josh Allen but someone keeps taking him from me before I get a chance partake. That trade will have good days for you for sure but I don’t think it will be consistent and the power rankings are the really that, the consistency rankings. Week 4 will not be much easier than this last one as you face off against an undefeated Electric Boogaloo. Your match comes down to Justin Jefferson’s health. But even then, they’re playing the Dolphins, how long will they even need their starters?

  1. Smells Like Team Spirit

Join me in congratulating SLTS, hee hee hee sluts, on their first RBFFL victory and their first fantasy football victory ever in life. Oh what a night, late September back in ’26, what a very special dub on Dix, We’ll all remember what a night! If not for that really terrible week 1 score you’d certainly be higher in the rankings amongst the 1 win teams. Just an average score that week would have you somewhere around 9 I’d say. But Stafford took that giant kangaroo sized shit in the ol’ Outback and it is what it is. Next week, speaking of kangaroo sized shits, you face off against league latrine, EbarMedia. Who will trade anyone away from his squad for an actual aborted fetus, as long as you put a helmet on it with a star on the side. So, to you I give the Commissioner’s Lock of the Week to rise in the ranks!

  1. The Mint

The Mint put together a respectable score this week that was good enough to topple 8 teams. Just not the team he faced. Rams House survived yet another devastating injury to pull out the win in your match. Week 4 you will face our top ranked Bulldog from the first 2 weeks in Cuchillos but you find them at a good time matchup wise. Patriots D keeps them in games, shit they have to in order to overcome the scourge behind center. What I’m saying is, maybe they can keep Josh Allen at bay just enough for The Mint and his team of misfits to dethrone him?

  1. EbarMedia

Yes it was a 3 way tie at 4th place last week which could be considered a 3 way tie for 6th as well but a slide from 4th to 9th is pretty epic. Sounds like you landed on the wrong side of your trade. But you were playing our top Bulldog from weeks 1 and 2…. Buuuuut he did score his lowest total to date because the Chargers kept Josh Allen at a human number. Over half our league would have beat him this week including 3 losing teams. Week 3 felt more like what we’re used to from EbarMedia, talkin’ shit after making a questionable trade, not tragic, just questionable. Calling a 1-2 team 3-0 in the group chat. I just realized, the Cowboys are also 1-2 you called the Mint 3-0 who is clearly 1-2, do you not know how wins and losses work? Is this what Cowboy fandom is like? I’m not trying to hurt you, I just want you to get the help you need. This is coming from a place of love, I promise.

  1. Brock hit the 2nd Bower

Brock got his namesake back from injury and cruised to a victory over the previously mentioned Monstars. You’re a good sport taking all the Drake Maye shit talking with dignity and honor… get used to it because I ain’t stoppin’ the good news is my Chargers can 0-17 but at least Justin Herbert looks like Super Bowl Eli Manning compared to Drake Maye while balls deep in warm glass of Beer. What I’m trying to say is, this team is good, very good, almost scary good. Imagine if you didn’t have the 31st ranked….. Wait Marcus Marriota just shit on Drake Maye, 32nd ranked….. Wait Case Keenum just tried to clean that shit off with his pee pee. 33rd ranked…. Sorry Darnold came back for a game, tied for 33rd ranked QB but if you ask me it’s not a tie. Drake had 3 games to get his 24 points, Darnold had 1 and 1 series…. Look out for Penix at 16 points after one game. There are only 32 teams man. Pull the plug man… Week for finds you matched up in a big one with Rams House. There will be Power Ranking movement thanks to this match. DMMC vs. Monstars is my GOTW but this is definitely a close 2nd.

  1. (TIE) Dolphin’s make me cry

Healthy QB, IDP with his surname who actually played…. top score of the week. This team should be 3 and 0 and if so, maybe a rank or 2 higher. I had the pleasure of spending NFL Sunday with your baby boy as you smashed the ass of my hetero lifemate Kekambas. Week 4 you face my baby boy who is currently the projected favorite. This matchup is The Commissioner’s Game of the Week. But if you plan on smashing ass again all I ask is you be gentle.

  1. (TIE) Dixon Yamada

Still in a tie in the rankings but no longer with 2 other owners, this time just one, and this time that owner is different from any of the 2 from last week. So what have we learned? Everyone likes to be tied up with Dixon Yamada and if you’re lucky you’ll all get your turn. You took the L from one of our new owners and the one who is an actual newb. You were his first. You should feel honored. Tune Squad is hoping you’re feeling charitable again here in week 4 as you face off with our other new owner. The power ranking would write itself if you gave both new owners their first RBFFL wins in back to back weeks and honestly at 14 teams, this shit takes forever, I’m kinda hoping for it. I could use one ranking to write itself.

  1. Marian Cobra Cobretti

You found yourself in the only battle of the unbeatens this week but you also found yourself on the wrong side of it. This will probably be the last time 2 unbeaten teams face off unless somehow Boogaloo and Cuchillos can keep their flawless records until their week 13 match. I’ll talk more about your match in Boogaloo’s rank so let’s talk about how it’s not going to get any easier for you as you find yourself matched up week 4 with a surging Visitors team looking for blood. I’ve finally tuned up my roster. Gave up on my kicker and defense, decided to float my D like I did in my championship year of 2025 and with that has come my highest projection to date. BUT!!!!! I’m rooting for you. Put Ladd Mc WhiteGuy back in, because my boys will find a way to shatter me by being awesome and beating the World Champs and RBFFL Champs at the same time. Mark my words.

  1. (TIE)The Visitors

Visitors did what was expected of them this week and will move on to a battle of 2 and 1 teams as we face off against the venomous Cobra who spits his words like they are doing no harm to the league and then exits stage right so no one can rebut the poison that has been spewed. I’m on to your game Cobra, and that’s why I have something special for you. Yes EbarMedia, team names can be changed at any time, and for just one match if you please…. And The Visitors are taking a page out of minor league baseball’s book and wearing their alternate jersey’s and alter ego’s this week….

 

  1. (TIE) Electric Boogaloo

Somebody’s O had to go and now I’m convinced Boogaloo chose his name because it’s spelled with 4 of them. In the game of the week and only matchup of unbeaten teams, Boogaloo came up victorious. Thanks to 2 things, my Chargers sucking ass and his Lions keeping the ball out of the Sun God’s hands and letting his own Gibbs do all the work. You have Kekambas Week 4 and I’m looking at the rosters and I swear all I see is Lions, Tigers and Bears…. Oh My this is the Land of Oz Bowl and I’m wearing my ruby slippers on Sunday. Can’t wait

  1. Rams House

Shit. Looking back at what I said last week. I guess the answer was higher right? The Mint had a good week. Maybe even wins if Ettienne doesn’t get hurt and he starts Golden. But THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINS. Even with another significant death on your team, you’re still a team to be feared. JSN will always have you in the game. That said, Davante will probably take a hit with Puka back and Achane is a loss for sure and it looks like Drake is out of the lineup finally as you face off in week 4 against what could easily be one of our top teams in 2nd Bower if only he could learn from this reigning champ. Do you see any lightning bolts on The Visitors? Never mix business with pleasure

  1. Cuchillos Y Gallos

This sounds familiar. You squeaked by Dixon Yamada EbarMedia but it doesn’t matter how you win as long as you win. Your monstrous first week was enough to keep you at number 1 but you face off in week 3 4 against a surging and cocky EbarMedia Mint. The Mint is so confident in the Raiders he’s starting the entire backfield against you. That’s downright disrespectful and almost was my cover art for this week but I’ll add it as a bonus below. The real one was just too good to pass up. Anyway, I’m in love with this season already boys. Keep it up.