Week 4 was an interesting one. I’m already looking ahead to week 5. Good movement in the bottom half of the rankings so let’s get to it. Let’s see it!
- The Team Formerly Known As Laddy and The Tramp
I take it back, let’s not see this, it’s hard to watch as a father. Laddy brought home the lowest score of the week this week and almost the lowest of the year. I told him to get that shit out of the house as soon as he brought it home too. Laddy trades too much but if his latest goes through in a couple hours, this one might finally help and stabilize his declining squad. Let’s end this ranking early considering it’s probably not even the same team I’ll be ranking next week. But for this week, welcome to the bottom son, I told you, you were playing with men now.
- Team EbarMedia
Sure you’re not a winner in fantasy football but you are a winner in life. Think about that great promotion you’re living and think about the Cowboys actually getting a tie. Don’t think about what’s going on here because it’s obvious you aren’t paying attention to shit anyway. You trade your future away for George Pickens and then you park his happy ass right on your bench. Was he still learning your playbook? Admittedly, it wouldn’t have made a difference as you faced the highest scoring team of the week NAY! The highest score of the year! But it might have put you in a higher rank which is all that really matters IMO.
- (TIE) Drake Me Off
DMO stayed right in the same position on these ranking thanks to a respectable loss to our week 3 top ranked team. Respectable or not it’s still a loss and the bigger loss is that of superstar Malik Nabers. It was that stable of top receivers that kept you in the picture but your wise pick up elsewhere could keep you viable and in the fight for a playoff spot. You just need to actually start them. You left the points to beat our week 3 top team on the bench. Unlike EbarMedia, this mistake would have made a difference. Maybe I’ll add a new power category for owner efficiency… Someday maybe, my spreadsheet is not being changed this season.
- (Tie) Dolphin’s Country
DC put up a great fight against league darling, The Visitors. You were looking competitive on Monday night. A big 2nd half from Tyreek would have given you a chance and then he Willis McGahee’d his knee. Lamb was already missing time and now this. Well there is some better news on the horizon for you. Your week 5 matchup is a favorable one. Especially if you get CeeDee back. Week 5 you will face off against EbarMedia and as these numbers have it, you are the better team. Will the 18 game losing streak end in week 5? I’m betting on it.
- Team TheMint1
The Mint solidified his running back room in the blockbuster trade with The Visitors. He also came up short in a winnable match up against Cuchillos. Your faith in Geno was your downfall. You left the points to win on the bench in Matt Stafford. And you got bit by a late scratch of your flex player. I woke up bright and early to watch that Dublin game and was also surprised to see Warren out. Gainwell was a great option for Drake Me Off but it was too early for him to make that move and he is on the east coast. Your flex spot didn’t have a chance. Word of warning, there is another international game this week. Be on your toes. Week 5 faces you against a usually hard Dixon Yamada, but the Dixon Yamada might be a little softer than expected. The first bye week is hitting him hard possibly just hard enough to score you a W against a damn good squad.
- Kekambas
Kekambas went straight belt to ass on Laddy and his Tramps. You scored what would have been the highest score of this young season had somebody else not shot for the record book. Your defense outscored your opponent’s D by 35 points. That kid got beat to shit by the Kekambas. But your previous low scoring outings is still keeping this 3-1 team out of the top half of the rankings. More outings like this will definitely get the job done and it’s going to take a great outing this week as you face Electric Boogaloo. Is there enough Kekamba magic to take down EB? We’ll find out in a few short days.
- (Tie) Dixon Yamada
Dixon Yamada lost a squeaker against the Cobra. Injury indirectly losing it for you. The Joe Burrow injury is affecting you more than Kekambas who actually had him. A little more than 9 points on Monday from the consensus number 1 overall pick in fantasy football at the beginning of the season for the win? That’s a no brainer. But we all have injuries affecting us pretty much. I’m going to be QB shopping tomorrow morning for a emergency back up myself. But then your bye week hell to boot? I don’t feel good about your chances this week but your team will get past it.
- (Tie) Cuchillos y Gallos
Big win against the Mint even with leaving the top scoring QB of the week on the bench in Justin Fields. Next week you face Cobra, former 7 time owner of Fields. Does this Gallo have the Juevos to bench Allen for Fields for a statement win? I didn’t think so, I sure as shit wouldn’t do it. But I’m playing the EbarMedia instigator card, feels good, I know why he they does do it now. A win will definitely at the very least swap your spot with….
- Marion Cobra Cobretti
Cobra just got enough out of the Raiders finally learning they have Ashton Jeanty on the roster. You look to be the early winner of your rape trade of my eldest. But he’s 12 minutes away (as I write) from flipping Bijan into 3 quality starters. So only time will tell. I already talked about your Hank Hill Urethra narrow win above so let’s keep talking about your big game this week. You are a heavy underdog at the moment against Cuchillos and you must win to keep your spot in these rankings. We’ll see what kind of lineup magic you can make and we’ll expect another great game out of you regardless of what the projections say.
- The Visitors
8 minutes now from a all new Visitors squad, possibly, looks like 1 more veto can turn it. These Visitors took a big leap forward with their trade last week and hope to do the same this week. But a huge hurdle stands in their way…
- Nakua Matata
And it’s these guys. This wonderful phrase absolutely shat on EbarMedia to the tune of 166.48 points, the most this season by any team. It will take the same effort for you to get the W this week against my Visitors. Last year a lowly Visitor squad that would go on to win only 4 games, took their first win against this squad by another name. That makes me unbeaten in our personal series and I intend to keep it that way!
- Electric Boogaloo
It feels like there is no stopping the ‘loo at the moment. You did what was expected of you by beating Drake Me Off this week and if the projections mean anything, you should dance past Kekambas with ease in week 5. But remember, Kekambas always find a way to get their opponent to have their worst game of the year. Don’t fall into that trap because there’s only one direction you can go from here. Let’s have another great week gentlemen and EbarMedia!